Grey's Anatomy

It's Meredith's fault that I watch Grey's Anatomy to begin with.

She and I drove to Chicago in the fall of 2007 for a girls weekend with my mom. Mere had been on me for a while to get up to speed on Grey's so we could discuss the newest episodes that came out. We rented the first season that weekend and watched the entire thing in my parents' basement. I'll never forget that weekend. It was a lot of tv to watch, and Mere joked that it was a tough job, but we "pressed through" (her words).

She'd laugh as drums would start to beat loudly in the background music and would say that means a commercial is coming. She said it always worked that way (and I've found she's right). And, she could often tell us when the show wasn't medically sound. Like when they talked about giving someone pain medication for a CT scan. Mere had tons of CT scans so she knew it was a painless procedure for which drugs weren't given.

From that weekend on, I started watching Grey's Anatomy. Mere and I would call each other after the show and discuss our thoughts about what had happened. She was frustrated with the Meredith/Derek relationship and thought the older seasons were better because they contained more medical drama.

Now every episode reminds me of my sister. In nearly every story line I see Mere, her battle, and my family's battle. I think about Mere and what she might think about this season. About what we'd talk about when we discuss the show. And then I cry. Sometimes really loud and obnoxious crying (I watch the show after Warner goes to bed and on the nights Kevin works so my obnoxious crying thankfully doesn't annoy anyone). I tell myself it's therapeutic, but I'm not so sure.

Meredith's death is still so fresh in my mind. I think of her last moments daily. I think of all of the years that were taken from her by the cancer. I think of her in heaven. What is she doing? What is it like there? Can she see me here on earth? Does she see how big Warner has gotten? Does she know that we're expecting another baby? Does she know how much I miss her?

The pain is raw. Still. April 22nd will be here before we know it, marking one year since she left us. A year seems like a long time. It feels like an eternity since I've seen or spoken to Meredith. But it also feels like just yesterday that she was here.
I came across this picture the other day. It was taken around the time of our Grey's marathon in Chicago, when Meredith was in the hospital. Meredith found my camera and decided I needed a few pictures of her, and took this one herself. I cherish it now. It's so Mere.

I know I'll see her again one day soon. And I'm so thankful to Jesus for that.

Frustrated

He may not look ornery at first glace. But looks can be deceiving.

Warner has tested my patience today. Too many times to count. This little person who was once so compliant now has a (strong) will of his own and is very colorful in the ways he expresses himself. Mainly, he hits. Hits me, himself, or anything nearby. Or, he throws things - toys, food, sippy cups (thank heavens for spill-proof sippy cups. Our house would be one sticky mess without them).

I've tried everything from gently putting his arms at his side and telling him that we don't hit or throw ... to not so gently explaining that we don't do these things. I've tried time-outs where we sit and count to 20. I've tried leaving the room (my personal favorite, as I get a break and a chance to cool down). Nothing seems to work.

We had our first playgroup today with Mom's Club. Four other boys ranging in age from 13 to 16 months came over to our house with their mothers. As the moms talked, I was relieved to hear that my son is not the only one driving his mother crazy. I just hope I'm responding to Warner's behavior appropriately.

And, I'm often told it's a phase. He won't go to college hitting things when he gets mad ... right?

Cookies

Warner helped me make Valentine's Day cookies today. It turned out to be a time intensive process between making the actual cookies and keeping Warner involved/entertained. He was a good sport though. As I made the dough Warner watched closely and used his own cooking tools.The look of disbelief at how I could keep cookie dough from him for this long.Let's just touch this one to make sure it's ready for the oven.Are they done yet?He didn't care what was going on once I gave him the spatula with icing on it. He had a death-grip on it for about an hour, including during dinner. He ate the entire meal one-handed so he could keep the spatula in the other hand.The finished product. And they taste better than they look, if you can believe it.

Museum

We met one of my friends from college at the Children's Museum yesterday for a playdate. Jessica and her husband Jay have a daughter, Madison, who is two months older than Warner. They are new to Cincinnati and had never been to the museum, so Warner was happy to show Madison around.

Well actually, Warner pretty much did his own thing and occasionally seemed to notice that Madison was there with him. This is the best picture we could get of the two kids together - he's not so sure about sharing the car with a girl:Well, if it's Mom then it's okay.
I love watching Warner play at the museum. He seems to enjoy it more with each visit and is quickly becoming quite independent while playing.
Warner let Kevin hold his hand as we walked to the car on the way out. This is one of the first times this has happened (usually Warner would prefer to walk all by himself, thank you very much) so I'm glad I got a picture.

Worn out

Warner has refused a nap for the past three days. It's been exhausting, probably more so for Kevin and I than for him. Each day he sat in his crib for 2 hours babbling, banging the wall, playing with his stuffed animals, and whining. But no sleeping.

He has been the best napper for so long now, I haven't known what to do with this. He normally sleeps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon so you can imagine how tired he must have been each night that he refused a nap.

Thankfully the streak was broken this afternoon. He is sleeping soundly in his crib. For now.

Peanut Butter

I left Warner alone in his highchair with his breakfast (banana and peanut butter toast) for about 2 seconds and this is what I came back to:And I thought we were making progress on the self-feeding front.

Dedication

Warner was dedicated at our church last night. The Vineyard (and Kevin and I!) believe that a person should be baptized after they have made the decision to follow Christ. Therefore, young children are dedicated, not baptized, at our church. My parents flew in from Texas; Kevin's parents, sister, and her family come from Somerset and Lexington; and my Aunt Kathy and cousins Katie and MaNell came in from Indiana. It was so special to have everyone there for the event.

It was a quick ceremony where Kevin, Warner, and I stood up on stage, introduced ourselves, and expressed our desire and intention to raise Warner in a home that points to Christ. Afterward, our family and church members came to pray over us. It was quite an emotional moment for me. I was moved by the prayers asking God to give Kevin and I wisdom as we parent, and for Warner to come to know Jesus as his savior at a young age. I want so much for my son, but at the end of the day, the only thing that really matters is his salvation. We dedicated Warner to God last night, and acknowledged that while God has entrusted Warner to us here on earth, he is ultimately God's, not ours. What a huge and humbling thought.

The pictures didn't turn out that great ... here we are on stage:
With my parents:And with Kevin's family:

Cabin Fever

We've been home-bound for three days now after our winter storm on Tuesday and Wednesday. It was pretty nasty - 3-4 inches of snow, then an inch of ice, then 3-4 more inches of snow. Kevin even had a snow day from work yesterday which is very rare. It's beautiful outside but I am going stir-crazy! Funny how a trip to the grocery store this morning turned out to be the highlight of my week.

Warner helped Kevin shovel some of the driveway ...
... and poor Kevin is probably sick of pushing Warner (and Pioneer, his stuffed monkey) around on his bike inside the house.
Warner has also been testing us with food lately. He eats a great breakfast and then refuses anything but goldfish crackers or grapes for lunch. I was at my wits end yesterday when he wouldn't eat the vegetables I made for him at lunch, so he went to sleep for his nap without eating. I offered the veggies again when he woke up and he refused them until around 5pm when hunger must have set in. Then it was a different story. He loved the vegetables then. Hmm.

We had a repeat performance today. Kevin made him macaroni and cheese with mixed vegetables mixed in for lunch and all Warner did was mash the peas onto his highchair. However, he ate broccoli and lasagna for dinner with us tonight. I refuse to raise a picky eater so maybe lunch just won't happen at the Platt household for a while. My mom says I shouldn't be too crazy or Warner might write a book about me someday (Mommy Dearest, anyone?), so we're searching for middle ground.

Snow

I'm going to stop watching the Weather Channel. When they predict snow we get nothing, and when they don't predict snow it snows. We got a dusting today and although it wasn't much, I've been waiting all winter to introduce Warner to the snow, so we played in it!
Not quite sure if he's going to venture out of the garage.
Distracted by an airplane.
Alright Mom, I'll sit in the sled. I'm not sure about this, but I'll do it for you.
Walking in this stuff is pretty fun.
Except for these mittens. Will you please take off my mittens?

By the end of our 25 minutes in the snow I think Warner had warmed up to the idea of playing in it. But he definitely wasn't over-enthusiastic about it. I must say I'm a little disappointed. I loved playing in the snow as a child and hope one day our kids will too (so I can re-live my childhood and play with them, of course).

But for now, I'd say today was a success.

TV

Well, we did it. We bought a new tv. Ours broke this summer and we've been using a hand-me-down from my parents as our main tv since then. After going back and forth as to whether or not to spend the money, we finally bit the bullet. I like to think we're doing our share to help the economy.
Of course Warner's favorite part was the box it came in.But Curious George in high-def is pretty cool, too.

Snack Time

Eating banana bread while sitting on the counter is so much fun ...
... but feeding dad,
and mom
is even better.

Rocking Horse

My dad built this rocking horse for me when I was one year old. Up until recently it was simply a fixture in Warner's room, but now he can get on to the horse by himself (or with minimal help):
Ride the horse for a bit:
And help his stuffed animals take a ride, too:Certainly makes this nostalgic mother's heart melt.

Sweeping Fun

Kevin got me a battery-powered vacuum for Christmas (it was the top item on my list, pretty sad) and Warner loves it. It's small enough for him to maneuver on his own and he generally cries when I turn it off and/or put it away. It's pretty handy to have our own floor cleaner in the house now.

What to do while Mom's cooking dinner

Rearrange the pots and pans.
Try to stand directly on top of Tupperware lids.Get really proud of yourself once you've accomplished your goal.
Push your highchair around the house.

Saturday night's alright ...

We've been struggling to make church work with Kevin's crazy schedule and Warner's aversion to church nurseries. After visiting many different churches, lots of prayer, and lots of time, we've decided to stay put at the Vineyard. They've moved their Saturday night service to 6pm now, which fits quite well into our schedule. And, for whatever reason, Warner enjoys the nursery during that time too. It's such a nice feeling to go through an entire service without his number being flashed in red at the front of the sanctuary indicating he's having a meltdown. I'm also going to be a part of the worship team again, which I'm excited about.

Here's Warner all dressed up in his matching sweater and hat before church (he's going to kill me when he gets older, or at the very least need years of therapy):
We got home around 7:30 and since we had an early dinner, Warner got a snack before he went to bed.
I think it's safe to say he's happy with the Saturday night routine.